Dirty Jokes Thread

Come on guys, share your dirty jokes with us here 😎😂

A young guy walks into a bar. An old drunk sits with a shoe box on the stool next to him.

The guy asks, "What's in the box?"

The older guy says matter-of-factly, "A South American Blow Job Toad."

The young guy looks around. "Can I try it?"

The older guy nods. The young guy goes to the men's room and returns 20 minutes later.

"That was amazing," he says, "You've got to sell it to me."

The old drunk concedes to sell the toad for a hefty sum. The happy young man struts home and meets his wife at the door.

"Where the hell have you been? What's in the box?" she demands.

"South American Blow Job Toad."

"So?" asks the wife.

"So, teach it to cook and then get the hell out."

Hahaha 😂😂

What is the difference between your wife and your job?

After five years your job still sucks.

Why are hurricanes normally named after women?

When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them.

Mother: "Sweetie, make a Christmas wish."
Girl: "I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa's computer."

jeez it's the first time I see this thread awesome

What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?

A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?

Beat it. We’re closed.

Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
He only comes once a year.

What’s the best part about gardening?

Getting down and dirty with your hoes.

What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?

Condoms have evolved: They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.

What did the penis say to the vagina?

Don’t make me come in there!

What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?

You can unscrew a lightbulb.

What’s long and hard and full of semen?
A submarine.